Lancaster County 6 is ready to download.
I have a bad case of the “should have’s.” I should have handled that better. I should have just been myself. I should have listened to my gut. It’s hard to get over a case of the should have’s because the only way to get rid of it is to acknowledge that you made a mistake and promise you’ll do better if given another chance. Up until yesterday, I wanted to find a hole to crawl into and wish it all away. But as I came to terms with it and realized just where I went wrong and how I could do it much better if the same situation ever appears at my doorfront again (and how I hope it does appear) the embarrassment slowly dissipated. And the lesson learned could finally reveal itself. I’ve learned how important it is to stay true to who you are. The whole mess came from me trying to be someone else – someone I thought I should be more like – while if I had just stayed authentic to myself, I would have been embarking on a new journey right now. But I missed the boat – or the plane, train, or automobile. There’s nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself – to be a little better version of yourself day to day. But stifling the genuine you is a no-no. I’m getting to the point where I can be thankful for the lost opportunity because it’s opened my eyes, so I feel good about that. I’ve kept a daily gratitude journal since December of last year, and writing in it really helps to put things in perspective. As I go back through the pages, I see the things in life that really matter, the birth of my first grandchild, and the daily reminders that God loves me and knows who I am. If I can just remember who I am, it will be all right.